DAVE’S ANGLO PREMIERSHIP DEBAUCHERY!

By Namakando Nalikando-Sinyama If you are an ardent football fanatic and you perhaps rather too hastily concluded this piece had something to do with the banality of the Barclays English football league involving players flashing and exposing their all, after scoring a goal, then you are duly forgiven. I have always maintained that, the path to public office in developed countries is replete and littered with a multiplicity of behavioural landmines and personal pitfalls. If ones intention or dream is to one day aspire for public office, then, my humble and considered advice to them is, there comes a point in life when you are your own enemy. You will need to watch your every step from The Cradle to the Grave because whenever you misstep, that moment or incident will most definitely come round to haunt you one day in your life. There are people whose job it is to ensure that no one of doubtful moral standing ever rules the country as President or Prime Minister. Although, I have to hasten to qualify this statement that this practice of vetting would be Leaders, from my experience only happens in decent countries, please do not ask me what I mean with this statement for fear that I might just tell you the truth about what I mean, and to be honest, let us just say, you might not like what I have to say. The other precept that is widely accepted in democratic societies is this that, the leader that emerges, almost always has to be a representation of the very best stock of the citizenry. Yes, they need to measure up and be of a right proven pedigree or as we called it in Silvi-Cultural Molecular Genetics, they are expected to be of the right Provenance. He or she is expected to be the truest embodiment of the general societal rectitude in all matters spiritual, wisdom and intelligence. Put simply, every generation of people in a country deserve the leader they get, since by electing their preferred leader, they are saying to the outside world, look, here we present so and so as the very best of us. You can scrutinise him, he presents us all, in him/her we are very well pleased and our collective nature of being as a people is encapsulated in them. When you see him/her, you will have seeing us all in the same light. The recent revelations of Dave having been reported as seen allowing the head of a dead Sus (pig) perform fellatio on him as part of some extremely depraved initiation ritual at a college function he attended makes very thought-provoking reading indeed. It must be stated here that, the fact that he attended Eton and later Oxford, which are both very prestigious schools in England gives you an impression and idea of what type of family he came from or what he was intellectually made of as a student. There is no doubt in my mind that he really must have been a very clever chap at school. What should be borne in mind is that, learning institutions the world over have proven to be a breeding ground for all sorts and manner of moral decadence. Therefore, as parents we need to be wary of where we take our children for academic instruction as they are too separated from our care and guidance. This is irrespective of whether the institution is co-ed or an all-boys or all-girls school. To this effect, parents must not succumb to the pressures of life and the not so well thought through social trends of committing their children too early in their development into boarding schools. It is not classy at all but grossly negligent on your part as parents. You must never be too busy for your children. They first need to be properly nurtured and given a solid family tradition of discipline and code of conduct at home before they can be ushered into the abyss of enclosed environments of unchecked youthful interaction. Reports abound where upstanding and straight young men go to boarding schools and come back queer because they had fallen prey to some male teacher with runaway libido who could not control his Grecian appetite for young men or they simply yield to what that great Irish dramatist Oscar O’flahertie Wills Wilde once called, “ The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name.” This usually happens because of their coming into contact with students from diverse backgrounds even when they may have had a sound upbringing themselves but meet up with those who came from where they were given too much Cart Blanche to behave as they pleased and had unrestricted access to sleazy material at home. Our hitherto relatively innocent lassies also have been given to easy virtue because they get to mingle with fellow older girls who may have already started experimenting with men where they hail from. They get exposed to stories of the older girl’s mischievous escapades with older men or their deranged uncles and cousins who have started having their ways with them at an early age. All girls schools have been known to be sizzling with horny vixens who prey on the new entrants at their schools when they report as it becomes open season! These in the end quickly become automatic contenders for high fliers or proud carriers of the rainbow flag for LGBT in future! The tertiary institutions become slightly different because the students here are expected to be more mature and are relatively seen to be more responsible for their actions. This is why the British public may need to seriously analyse their leaders. If your incumbent leader is reported in an exclusive unauthorised biography by the most noble Lord Michael Ashcroft and Isabel Oakeshott For The Daily Mail as having engaged in acts that their society, which prides itself with cherishing certain well known standards of behaviour and reviles those that it does not approve of, then more national soul searching should have been instituted in earnest. The British people then should be asking more prodding questions round about now, but strangely enough,they seem not to be doing that, how so bizarre indeed. You will notice, from this piece, that I am rather meticulously skating around the fact that he was also known to have been a habitual partaker of Sinsemilla (seedless weed/marijuana from a female plant) for obvious reasons. The innocent lushly growing palmate shrub with serrated leaves has been given way too much bashing and has been demonised for way too long, people need to have a rethink, as most civilised societies with progressive Thinkers have begun doing. When asked whether he had smoked marijuana in his school days, David simply replied, “I had a very normal University experience” which in itself is a very pregnant answer coming from one of the sharpest and most eloquent Prime Ministers Britain has ever had. What would you expect from a Political Science Major and Philosophy student? This response, if your read between the lines, is a subtle concealment of what the French call ‘Joie de vivre’ which is the Carefree thus reckless Enjoyment Of Life hippy style he must have enjoyed while at university. Although as Premier, occupying that high office, we need to remind him of yet another French adage, ‘noblesse oblige’ meaning Privilege entails responsibility especially in the manner you conduct yourself before and while in office. This also reminds me of , “Prisons without Bars”, a piece I wrote on my Copperbelt University experiences as a freshman where I chronicled my academic adventures as a budding student . In this, however, you will find that David Cameron is not entirely the only one to have been plagued and haunted by scandal from things he did in his past life. His Irish cousin William Jefferson Blythe III (Bill Clinton) from the opposite side across the Atlantic did not escape scandal either. We heard how he at least had the decency of admitting that he puffed on a weed joint, only he just did not inhale! That will always be a classic in me mind. Not to mention the many practical aphorisms in Love (Karma sutra) sensual callisthenic sessions on the tables in the Oval office with his many nymphomaniac white house female aides not just Monica Lewinsky by the way, as it was later discovered. David Maraniss recently treated us to a detailed account of Hussain Obama’s Choom Gang(weed smoking) days in Hawaii. Barack coined the expression TA meaning Total Absorption. According to David Maraniss’ book Barack Obama: The Story, the young Obama popularized a smoking trend known as “TA” (short for “Total Absorption”) and “Roof Hits,” where the group would smoke with all the car windows rolled up to not let any smoke escape. Obama was also known to cut into other people’s turn when a joint was being passed around and yelling “interception.” Yes, young Barry Obama was indeed a Pot-smoking innovator alright! Maraniss said. What should concern the British public and West Minister even more is the fact that if he was initiated into some society, what really was or is involved in its membership? Consequently, to what extent is his membership influencing his conduct and decision making as Prime Minister? Is he still a member of that group? What is that group really about? These questions are almost hypocritical coming from the author of this piece who without his peers realising it, was very close to starting a Secret society during his Varsity years as a freshman at The Copperbelt University. Well, it was really more of a Fraternity than a Secret Society in the strictest sense of the word. Of course, not in the American context of Alpha,Sigma,Kappa, which are mostly sports groups centred around cheer leaders as seen at American colleges. We are here talking about something more serious than that am afraid. This was to be a grouping of a carefully vetted and selected few students using a very stringent wit centred criterion to arrive at a choice of which students would be drawn from diverse backgrounds who would then later have been drilled in academic excellence and connected with a vast network of leadership and business professionals of like mind in the outside world. This was to be a nursery of extraordinary league of young gentlemen who were going to be released into the world to take up various leadership roles and head Corporations in Southern Africa and beyond. I here take cognisance of the possible existence of Sororities at various Varsities around the world but since I am no expert in these or what their operational ethos is about, I will gladly decline to delve into them. To the uninitiated, you will most likely not realise that these Fraternities at US Colleges and Universities have churned out many US presidents and CEOs with almost 90%, if not all of their former presidents having been members of one or two secret societies such as Skull & Bones, The Know-nothings, The Free Masons, The Brotherhood, Illuminati, Ancient Order of The Druids etc. The word on the ground is that, of all their Presidents of The USA only two may not have been actual members, that is, JFK and Abe Lincoln and in both cases, it was only their premature deaths that interfered. Yes, it is that serious. We all know or at least should know by now that such degrees of moral decadence especially coming from a personage of his standing as David’s is an offspring of a very sick society. The paradox of it all is that most of these sick societies are those that profess lofty ideals of Demon(cracy) and moral rectitude as the British are akin. We all know the British, and just what would they have said if this character and personality blemish was disclosed about a leader of another ‘rogue’ country in Africa for instance. Should it not concern the Brits about the possible current state of mind of their Prime Minister if as a student he started or got initiated into some shadowy grouping of students with yet unknown agenda? The word Initiate means get started and as proof of continued membership to such societies, Rituals of this nature are supposed to be repeated when you are meeting. Is it not of even greater concern that their leader’s scruples in decision making are compromised if he at one time plunged his dangly protuberant blood filled erectile tissue body member into the mouth, of all things, a dead Pig for crying out loud for whatever reasons? What does this say about his current state of mind and his suitability to hold public office? Oh please come on Namakando you are building a mountain out of a mole hill, he was but a wee lad thus entitled to experiment with drugs and discovering his sexuality. Are you sure? So, what does it then tell us about his sexual orientation when he did it or eff it, he probably still does it with Sus scrofa domesticus spp.? Is not his wife in the least curious about these things? Does the British Tax payer know that their official residences may still play host to guests who perform sinister rituals to this day? Does the place moonlight as a sty or there is just a special corner nicely tucked away for special purposes? Does he prefer a particular breed of pig or anything goes? Did MI5 do a thorough perusal of his personal file at that specialised registry office at that department entrusted with keeping the details of every citizen in Britain? At a time when social and industrial militancy were at their highest, surely the MI5 at F Branch should have known better to cross reference his PF with his SF (That is, Personal File and Subject Files respectively) to try and dig up whatever was not right about his character that would prove problematic in future years as a premier. They should have done a much better job of vetting him before they accepted his candidature for the top job of Premiership for fear of him bringing the name of the Crown Government into disrepute like he has? You will notice, I have here endeavoured to maintain the details of that MI5 office to a bare minimum because some of the stuff I have chosen not to say is on a need to know basis and believe me, You-Do-Not-Need-To-Know certain things for your own safety! Let me not complicate it too much, I was just not given clearance to make public disclosures of that nature. Although, I know his spin doctors will do a good counter attack and ensure they sweep the details of this biography under the carpet. On second thoughts, I think I am being way too harsh on him I think. How many occupants of 10 Downing Street have been so scrutinised? He has just suffered the misfortune of having the lid on his personal life blown open. The skeletons have scampered out of his once latched closet for a much needed breather. Whatever the case is, one thing is for sure, the goings on at Number 10 Downing Street will forever be shrouded in mystery.