Monday, June 14, 2010

MY MANUAL OF STEREO-TYPING NATIONALITIES

By Namakando Nalikando Sinyama

On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are suddenly stranded by, as you might expect, a shipwreck: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman2 French men and 1 French woman2 German men and 1 German woman2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman2 English men and 1 English woman2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman2 American men and 1 American woman2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman One month later on these same absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:


THEY ARE FOLLOWED BY MY INTERPRETATION OF WHAT HAPPENED IN BRACKETS


/*One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

(For me this shows the Italian’s over reliance on violence as a way of solving problems. This character trait is forever immortalized in Hollywood as Mafia pictures when the code of La Cosa Nostra is lived to the letter in protecting La Familia.)

/*The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a ménage-a-trois. (Typical of French society, they will always be revered for their socio-liberalism and their near obsession with sensual gratification, to paraphrase, if there are 3 consenting adults why not indeed!)

/*The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman. (The German’s desire and insistence on Discipline, Order and Perfection in all they do comes out here. These are the Furher’s boys living the true meaning of their creed. That is why we will forever chant, “Dem Furher Einte Gergen Arbeitten.” If you need a typical example of Hitler’s inspirational legacy of Order and the pursuit of Perfection look at The VW,BMW,Mercedes Benz, Audi and Football Defense formation and then we can talk! )

/*The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.(The Grecians have historically had no trouble expressing what that Great Irish Play write and Dramatist Oscar O’flahertie Wills Wilde once called, “ The Love that Dare not speak its Name.” He further followed this up with, “The greatest way to get rid of a temptation, is to yield to it.” WOW! What genius I say!)

/*The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean, and another long look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming.(If its not the famed Romany’s pre-occupation with wonder-lust. There is no where the Gypsy will not go, provided there is a route, they will take to it in search of sustenance. Yes, not even the allure of multiple sessions of erotica comes close!)

/*The two Japanese men have texted Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.(The Nipponese have become too afflicted with techno-philia that their ability to make even the most basic of decisions has been reduced somewhat.)

/*The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a restaurant and a laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their stores. (The entrepreneurial instinct of the Sino shines through here. In their endeavor or quest to dominate global commerce, they will stop at nothing. They are prepared to use their run away libido to procreate and raise an army of workers. Ask the West and you will see how they have taken notice. They want to attack their Human Rights record, Ecological Footprint but they care less. The Red Army’s match is as inexorable as the very passage of Time I say!)

/*The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide because the American woman keeps endlessly complaining about her body; the true nature of feminism; how she can do everything they can do; the necessity of fulfilment; the equal division of household chores; how sand and palm trees make her look fat; how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do; but how her relationship with her mother is improving and how at least the taxes are low and it isn't raining.(It’s the Yankees with their all too familiar holier-than-thou attitude and drunkenness with Demon-cracy which they impose on societies as if they were told it’s the most ideal governance model. What civil rights does the Yankee speak of? They have even waged War to export demon-cracy to weak countries and plunder those nation’s natural resources and impose governments there. Their materialistic society will be their undoing in the end. Human Rights my foot, Katrina Re-visited, let ‘em Go to the Reservations and assess the welfare of Native Americans, then they can come and chew gum in my face!)

/*The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.(The Anglo-saxon’s genteel nature reverberates in this piece. They do not give it a hoot,no sensual desire can overpower their good nature; they can wait until hell freezes over before they can disrespect the woman folk. This they will do this even if they drowned in their own civility. The Angles are so conservative,the Fox Hunt on horse back continues even as I write, the truffles are still being picked in the country-side, nhuuu yammy!)

/*The two Irish men have divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few litres of coconut whisky. But they're satisfied because at least the English aren't getting laid either.(The Land of Eire is still in a constant battle over territory, and their bullish nature will be seen in their temperament, talk about Austere Unionists, Orange Order matches in Londonderry, Belfast, Sein Feihn will live on! We will forever be grateful to the gods for the culture of what I would in the rich Scottish/Irish Gaelic tongue uisage beatha. Like Barotses they relish the many outings to the local pub and have no qualms what so ever about empting a few kegs of some good old social lubricant as they engage in intellectual intercourse. My wits are at their sharpest after I imbibe a few swigs of you know what while lending an ear to some classic yoddling of The Dubliners’ renditions of Irish and Scottish drinking songs, Ooooooooh!!!!! How I miss them!)
Namakando Nalikando Sinyama
Barotse Patriot
Barotseland,
Central Africa
“I tell you a truth, liberty is the best of all things, my son, never live under a slavish bond.” – Sir William Wallace’s Uncle

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