THE EXTREMELY CURIOUS ZAMBIAN BIPOLAR 'HOLY' NATURE.

 By Namakando Nalikando-Sinyama

Granted, that I may not be Herr Sigmund Freud's Great Great grandson or a psychoanalytical expert to arrive at the above diagnosis but all the evidence points to it. It should also be appreciated that it is hardly in my place to comment on how you conduct your Business but Since this matter has been escalated all the way into the Bedroom, may be it is about time that things are put into a little more gripping Contextual  perspective just to sort of highlight the sheer absurdity of it all. Do people realise that, according to the 'Holy' Laws of  Zambian Nature, a Hand Job is also a transgression,Yes,just as touching oneself to achieve the Big 'O'( Onan Style) either as a Stress relief strategy or merely a pass time activity to prevent the affliction of some cheap, now since discontinued Accounting Courses(NutAche) or Blue Balls or Drilling for Oil,(  because at that particular moment, one has not a willing consensual participant in the exercise. Do you actually realise that even the good old Fellatio and Cunnilingus of and with your partner is equally an act deemed  against the 'Holy' Laws of Zambian Nature and thus effectively punishable by Law? This could well then, technically  mean that, even the Oriental  Aphorisms in Love that Karma Sutra is could well be illegal since the different modes of sensual expression of Love between partners deemed untraditional may be frowned upon as unnatural or Anti-Zambian as only the Biblically ordained Missionary posture during sessions of erotica is what is acceptable as Kosher.  You might want to brace yourselves for a possible Law empowering a yet to be created Conjugal Police. Knock,Knock!!! It is the C.P, What style is that?  By order of so and so,tonight you are hereby reminded of the Position you must assume as decreed by the Powers that be. You may find this a rather cynical and exaggerated scenario and one that misses the point. But,what exactly then is the Point,if there be any at all? That all the other vices are alright and should be condoned or not spoken against openly but a whole nation can descend on other people's method of Sinning when yours is fine and kept secret and never criminalised? Why does not Higher Level  Corruption of Theft of Public Resources become Non Bailable and Punishable by Firing squad? This would make more sense in my Books. As regards this much ado about nothing really, concerning which portal or orifice is used to attain sensual gratification between partners whether Linear or nonlinear, just speaks to people's shameful pettiness and total lack of priorities on matters of greater import.  This is why some of us have since concluded it to be nothing more than a laughable distraction that has been employed just  as it is clearly explained in the CIA Book of Dirty Tricks pretty much the same way that Sports events have been and are still being used to sway the Citizen's  attention from Critical National issues that deserve your Intellectual energy and input when there is too much pressure bearing down on a regime. It is little wonder we are in the mess we in because of a total lack of  serious Critical thinking and interrogation on important things in Life. While you burn your Midnight Oil and Candles on both ends over what other people's Choices of a Sexual partner are, Constitutional Amendment  Bill No. 10 is quietly being passed right under your gaze. Forest 27 has been carved up, Huge monies for Electric power imports you are not going to receive or enjoy have allegedly been paid out, NRC Registration exercise is underway in specifically chosen areas, Foreign Loans have been contracted without Parliamentary approval or you knowing where the Money went or monitoring its use,other people are not allowed to gather for flimsy and made up reasons, People are being Hacked and their Brains are oozing out from their skulls(Do parson my gory depiction of Sean Tembo's recent attack it is deliberate) but you are quiet etc You are indeed a Truly special Breed of Humans,this I can give you!

This is also being used as gimmick to try as much as possible gain support from the evangelical Lobby and Radical Hypocritical money Loving Christian Fundamentalists who, will rather naïvely, not see this for what it is. The School of Applied Reason and Logic will tell you that it makes no sense to use your Religious Text or scriptures to reason with other people from other Religions or who, for some reason or the other, may not even subscribe to them(Your Teachings or a scriptures) or any Deity at all. How is it even Democratic to Decree and Dictate a Religion for all the people and use those Teachings in that Religion to hinge your Judgment of everyone including those that do not believe them or regard them as sacrosanct teachings to live by? This is a hallmark of autocratic,Despotic and  tyrannical  dispensation at its worst.